This post provides a tip for helping the CALM STATE become your default state of being. For more information about the calm state click to read The ICE Method-How To.
“I set a timer on my watch to ring every hour,” this woman tells me during a recent session. “When it rings I do the ICE Method and get back into a calm space.”
“Are you usually in the Calm State when your timer rings?”
“No,” she answers, “but its easy to return to that state every time.”
“I want to suggest a change.” I tell her. “I love your idea of setting a timer. I want you try setting it to go off every two minutes?”
“Two minutes?” she exclaims.
“Yes, if it rings eery two minutes you’ll probably be in the calm state almost every time. Use the ringer to confirm that you’re in the calm state, rather than as a reminder to get back into it. If you keep checking every two minutes, you’ll probably be in the state almost every time. And when you’re not you can get right back in. Once you’re in the calm state for ten or twenty times in a row, change your time to every five minutes. Then to every ten minutes. After a couple of weeks, the Calm State will become your default state and you won’t need a timer anymore.”
“I’ll do it.”
Since I’ve been playing with this calm state for many months now, it has long since become my default state. Instead of noticing when I entered the calm state – like most of my clients experience – I now notice when I’m NOT in the calm state. And as soon as I notice that I”m not in that calm state, I can check if there’s a reason for the reaction. If there’s not a reason for the reaction, then I can quickly return to the calm state.
Thanks for the great tip on the timer! Try it – I think you’ll love this calm state as much as i do.